"Be still and know that I am God." Doctrine and Covenants 101:16

This past week I have just been really down. I think the biggest thing that I have been struggling with is trying to understand why things are the way they are sometimes. I was reading J's Patriarchal Blessing the other day. Wow. He truly is SO amazing. As I read it, my heart was extremely heavy. This is who J really is. He is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. Satan knows the strength he was and could be to so many people. He was always sharing the gospel with people who didn't have it, or people who once had it but didn't value it anymore. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that Satan worked extremely hard to get J to the point he is at today. Unfortunately, J gave in. He slowly let him bring him further and further down with all the horrible lies, the pain, the stress of life. I know with all my heart, he would have NEVER thought his life would be like this, not in a million years. Anyone that truly knows J, knows who he really is, would know that Satan can surely get the best. It has definitely been a testimony to me that not one of us are exempt from falling into temptation. I think of all the times I have justified my wrong doings. I think of all the times I have made choices thinking that they were not a big deal, or I could repent later, knowing that they were not choices that correlate with the commandments. It could have been justifying a movie or T.V. show that wasn't very appropriate, gossiping, choosing to look on Instagram instead of reading my scriptures, not being a good example to my kids, etc. I am not going to lie, I still unfortunately make many, many wrong choices, but from what I have learned through this experience is that I have to constantly be on guard. Every time I make a wrong choice and try to justify it, I am letting Satan win just that much more. I am loosing the privilege of having the spirit with me when I make a bad choice. Like I said, I still make dumb choices at times, but I am definitely a LOT more aware of the choices I do make. I know that I can't let my guard down. Not even a little bit when it comes to Satan and the temptations he puts in my path.
 My sister in law was telling me about an amazing young man who was an all star athlete. He was well known and loved by everyone. He was diagnosed with leukemia. He was very sick, but still was dead set on going on his mission. He wanted to serve the Lord so badly. He recently passed away and wasn't able to fulfill that dream. Then just this past week, a very good man in our ward with a BEAUTIFUL family, his wife and four children, found out he has a brain tumor. He is a righteous priesthood holder, a faithful servant of the Lord, a great dad and husband. There is a dear family I know who lost their righteous husband and father last year due to a blood clot after having a routine knee surgery. Another family I know, too lost their husband and father to cancer recently. I have just been struggling with the question of "Why?" Why, when there are so many women and children who need righteous men as husbands and fathers, why are they being taken off the earth prematurely? Or why are we loosing them to horrible addictions and temptations that seem to be astronomical in number? I truly have not been able to come to terms with that until today. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He knows exactly what we need. He knows all. Although it probably won't ever make sense to me in this mortal life, He has a plan that is divine. There is a reason He is calling these righteous men home early. I just need to be at peace with the fact that Heavenly Father is all knowing. He loves us all so much. He is there for us. He sacrificed His only begotten Son for each one of us. He knows why. That is all that matters. What a gift. What a blessing. What a pure unconditional love. I need to "be still and know that [He] is God."