If Someone Would Have Told Me...

If someone would have told me when I was 18 or 19 a man would fall in love with me and ask me to be his wife. That he would truly make me feel of my worth. That he would make me believe I was beautiful. I wouldn't have believed them. If someone would have told me before we were sealed for time and all eternity after our two precious spirits joined our family, after happiness together that was immeasurable, that the person I thought I married would betray me, use me, live a lie, and choose a substance and other women over myself and our angels, I wouldn't have ever believed it. If someone would have told me that one day I'd be a single mom and divorced, I would have thought, "heck no! That wouldn't happen to me. I made sacred covenants and we are going to be an eternal family." If someone would have told me that I would go through a time in my life that was so dark and felt so hopeless, I would have said "yeah right". If someone would have told me I would develop more strength and faith than I ever imagined I was capable of having. That I would only be strengthened and gain so much confidence I would be able to keep going. That I would work my hardest to fulfill my goal of becoming a teacher so that I can provide for my kids and I on my own. That I would graduate with a 3.9 GPA. That I would sit in front of principal after principal displaying confidence that I would have never imagined would come from me. That I would be able to get a job at a school I love.  I would have said, "no way, not me! I am not a strong enough or confident enough person." I am sure that is why we aren't given a crystal ball telling us what the future holds for us. We are given challenges, trials, and heart ache, not so we are miserable, not so we feel weak, but to show us who we were sent here to become, to show us the strength we really have, to grow to rely not on our own judgement, but our Heavenly Father and His plan for us. I am struggling day to day with different things like how to reach each one of my students not only academically, but so that they will believe in themselves. Trying to live up to all that is expected at work. Not knowing how to help my beautiful daughter know who she is, or know what to say to help her feel her self worth when she goes to school everyday competing with worldly standards that seem to trump the things that really matter. How do I help her see her physical beauty, but more importantly, her inward spiritual beauty? How do I help Koleman know that he's ok as he is figuring out more and more that he is "different" from other kids? How do I help him find a friend that will love him and his quirkiness and accept him for it? How do I fight my own worst enemy (myself) off when all I hear is I'm not good enough, pretty enough, creative enough, wealthy enough, or only fit in if I have a husband? Yes, these are struggles and real feelings but sitting around worrying about them only makes life miserable. With faith I can do all things. I don't need to know what MIGHT happen, but focus on what IS happening and what my part is in the joy I do or not feel. We are NEVER given more than we can handle, EVER. And with our Heavenly Father and His Son, we can do anything.