Life is Full of Curve Balls...

Everyday you wake up and even though days seem to be redundant, you really never know what's in store. It could be the best day you've ever had, or one bad thing after another can happen. I keep wishing and hoping my life will just have a time with no changes, no surprises, just predictable and low key.... Well I would say unfortunately we don't get to choose what may or may not happen to us, but even though we think it would be nice to choose what life brings our way, we don't know or see the big picture. What if I chose not to get married? Sure, I wouldn't have gone through the hardest time of my life, but I also wouldn't have my two biggest blessings and be who I am today, which is a MUCH STRONGER person. I might not have been able to gain the relationship I have now with my Heavenly Father that I didn't have the same way before. My faith may not have been strengthened the way it has. I wouldn't have the confidence to face adversity the way I do now. The last 6 years of my life have certainly been the hardest, but have also been the most amazing. I was finally at a point where everything was great! I'm teaching, I'm a mom to the two most amazing spirits ever, I have such an amazing relationship with my Heavenly Father, every day I go to a job that I adore. Things were near perfect!!... A few short weeks ago, another curve ball came. I was made aware that although my life now seems to be complete and exactly how I want it, there's actually a huge piece missing. A piece that I have purposely left out so that my heart could be guarded and protected. But a piece that I really long for. I have the MOST amazing kids and family ever. They make my life amazing and more worthwhile, but can't fulfill the piece I am scared to find. Having these feelings have quite literally made me a bit crazy the last month. It's almost all I think about. The things that have played out recently have been difficult, but necessary. People come into our lives for a reason. Maybe to help us grow, maybe to teach us a lesson, maybe to help us become stronger through joy or even pain. A very dear friend recently reminded me that it is up to me if I am happy or not. They gave me a much needed wake up call. A reason to step back and evaluate what I have instead of what I wish I did. This friend has helped me in ways that I didn't realize I needed help with. I don't get to choose my circumstances most often, but even if a lot of terrible things happen, it's the way I look at the situation and deal with it that matters. I can choose to feel sorry for myself. I can choose to close up and push people away. I can choose to be pessimistic, but what good does that do me? NONE!!!! This friend is EXACTLY right. I need to move forward with faith and know that the piece I'm missing in my life will come. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a year. But it will come. I am so incredibly blessed to have the gospel in my life. What a gift and a blessing conference was this past weekend. I have never felt more inspired, encouraged, and more peace. The gospel is true! It is my life line, it means EVERYTHING to me. There is NO WAY I'm going to continue to let Satan tear me down. I've got this. I can't do it on my own, but I have all the resources to endure!!! Life is great and such a gift!! I need to take these curve balls and hit them head on!!!