Life is never what you expect it to be. Growing up, it seems the norm is to assume you will grow up, find the "perfect" person to come along and sweep you off your feet. You will get married, have some children, be able to stay at home with your kids while your husband works, and you'll live happily ever after. For me, that is exactly what I envisioned my life to be. It seems like we are always assuming that if we wait long enough for the "perfect" person or thing to come along, that is all we need in order for it to happen. Most often, however, we end up missing out on many great and wonderful things that are actually perfect for us, but we miss out because those things aren't exactly what we envisioned for ourselves. It isn't the picture we painted in our minds, so it can't possibly be right. My vision of what my life would be and how it really ended up being up to this point, was most certainly not the same. I never in a million years would have thought I would be divorced and a single mom. I never thought I would have to work in order to support my kids on my own. My reality most certainly wasn't the ideal I always pictured my life being, but I NEVER in a million years would change the experiences I have had to go through. Never. I may have that label of a "divorced person", or "single mom", those labels that, although are more common to have then they used to be, are still not the most accepted by others because of course having these labels is not the "ideal". I wouldn't necessarily say that I would wish some of the challenges I have faced on anyone, but I do think that it is more unfortunate for people to go through life living on the side that is more "ideal" than not. At least not having challenges that really try your faith and help you develop the strength and faith that will bring you closer to our Heavenly Father if that is Who we turn to. My greatest blessings have come from my greatest challenges. Not being able to start my marriage out on the right foot of being married in the temple only made it that much more special and appreciated when after a year of working hard, we were able to be sealed. Thinking I would have perfect, healthy children and then finding out my precious three year old boy wasn't "normal" and would have the label of autistic, was what I thought was the hardest news I ever heard. In reality it has been the BIGGEST blessing and our lives would not be the same if my precious boy was "normal". He has taught me far more than I have EVER or probably will ever teach him. Finding out the man I married and thought would be my eternal companion wasn't who I thought I married and no longer my eternal companion, although being the greatest challenge to date, has brought me to my knees more than anything ever has in my life. It has given me the opportunity to increase my faith in ways that I never would have been to without going through the challenge. It has pushed me to see how strong I really am and the capabilities I am blessed with, that I DEFINITELY would have never been able to see without going through this. I have NO DOUBT IN MY MIND, that my Heavenly Father has been by my side through every trial, every heartache, every test, every celebration, through it all. The gospel is true. My Savior lives. He suffered and died for each and every one of us. He knows our pain, our fears, our struggles, our shortcomings, and He is the only one that knows EXACTLY how we feel, because He has felt it too! This world is scary, troubled, and tainted, but at the same time there is SO much good. SO much to look around and see that is positive, beautiful, and uplifting. We have the power to see the positive, if we only allow ourselves to. The challenges, fears, and pain that come along with life, as they most certainly should, are blessings in disguise if we can only take those trials, learn from them, grow from them, and develop into the person we were sent here to become!
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