Great Things Await You.
I'm sitting by myself in front of the beautiful temple in St. George Utah. Today I have been fasting to find comfort, peace, and reassurance. I decided after church, to drive to the temple to read my scriptures, think, and then pray to break my fast. As I'm sitting here, I have been watching a family. A darling young couple with two kids, I'm guessing ages 7 and 5. I'm not going to lie, I've been watching them with envy and a longing to have that complete family with a husband that would love me, love my kids, and most importantly love the gospel and live by it's teachings. I'm making it sound like I'm not grateful for the IMMENSE blessings I do have; my two beautiful children and the gifts of the gospel. I am BEYOND grateful!!!!
Today has been an extremely special day. My angel received the greatest gift he will ever receive. He was ordained into the Aronic Priesthood. He has been literally, overjoyed. As he was sustained in Sacrament Meeting, he stood up on the stand with seriousness and respect as even in his special little 12 year old mind, he understands the privilege and honor that it is for him to receive this gift. As my sweet brother ordained him, the spirit was so strong. He told him to remember the gift he is to this world and how many lives he touches. He told him of the brightness and happiness he brings, especially to his mom. Oh that is the most accurate statement I've ever heard. What a gift this precious boy is! And I, me, the most flawed and undeserving person, gets to be his mother!! The mother of an elite spirit. One that simply needed to come get a body, and who was sent to be a teacher to me.
Going back to the fact that even after an amazing day like today, sounding ungrateful for what I have, I'm not. I'm EXTREMELY grateful. The feelings I am having are feeling incomplete, just wanting more than anything to have a complete family. The feeling is overwhelming and I hadn't felt it at all since our family became incomplete, until now. I love going to church. I really do. Sunday is truly my favorite day of the week. Feeling of the spirit, letting all worldly obligations get set aside, and partaking of the Sacrament. I don't want to turn into someone that sounds bitter. I really am not. But I am going to be real...it is SO hard. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that every single person is going through one thing or another. I couldn't handle trials that others have to endure. But it doesn't make it any easier sitting and watching all of these amazing men in our ward and how sweet they are to hold their little ones on their laps, take a crying baby out, sit in primary with their little girl as she is nervous because it is her first day as a sunbeam. Watching them look at their wives with such sweet love seeing that they are their everything. It's hard. It is something that I didn't realize I wanted. I didn't realize I needed. I didn't even know for a long time that I was missing out on it. I have just recently had these feelings surface as I had exactly what I wanted, needed, and know to be right, ripped away.
I just finished reading my scriptures. I was searching for some peace, some comfort, and some reassurance that it is ok. I am going to be just fine. I just read in Doctrine and Covenants section 45:61-62 and these lines literally felt like they jumped off the page at me.
"61...be prepared for the things to come. 62 For verily I say unto you, that great things await you;" I truly don't know how anyone can get through life without the gospel. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself, yet again, when I know EXACTLY what I need to do. My Father in Heaven knows. He knows all things. He knows what the big picture holds. He knows that I need to put forth the faith that I have, and continue to press forward relying totally on Him. I am SOOOOOOO grateful for Him. SO grateful for the lessons I need to continue learning. SO grateful for what I can become if I put my faith in Him and learn what is intended for me to learn at this time.
The gospel is true! I know it with every single fiber of my being!!! It is the greatest, most reassuring, most calming feeling knowing this truth! I strongly suggest you seek out this truth if you don't know about it. You can click here to find out more!!
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| Doctrine and Covenants 45: 61-62 |
Going back to the fact that even after an amazing day like today, sounding ungrateful for what I have, I'm not. I'm EXTREMELY grateful. The feelings I am having are feeling incomplete, just wanting more than anything to have a complete family. The feeling is overwhelming and I hadn't felt it at all since our family became incomplete, until now. I love going to church. I really do. Sunday is truly my favorite day of the week. Feeling of the spirit, letting all worldly obligations get set aside, and partaking of the Sacrament. I don't want to turn into someone that sounds bitter. I really am not. But I am going to be real...it is SO hard. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that every single person is going through one thing or another. I couldn't handle trials that others have to endure. But it doesn't make it any easier sitting and watching all of these amazing men in our ward and how sweet they are to hold their little ones on their laps, take a crying baby out, sit in primary with their little girl as she is nervous because it is her first day as a sunbeam. Watching them look at their wives with such sweet love seeing that they are their everything. It's hard. It is something that I didn't realize I wanted. I didn't realize I needed. I didn't even know for a long time that I was missing out on it. I have just recently had these feelings surface as I had exactly what I wanted, needed, and know to be right, ripped away.
I just finished reading my scriptures. I was searching for some peace, some comfort, and some reassurance that it is ok. I am going to be just fine. I just read in Doctrine and Covenants section 45:61-62 and these lines literally felt like they jumped off the page at me.
"61...be prepared for the things to come. 62 For verily I say unto you, that great things await you;" I truly don't know how anyone can get through life without the gospel. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself, yet again, when I know EXACTLY what I need to do. My Father in Heaven knows. He knows all things. He knows what the big picture holds. He knows that I need to put forth the faith that I have, and continue to press forward relying totally on Him. I am SOOOOOOO grateful for Him. SO grateful for the lessons I need to continue learning. SO grateful for what I can become if I put my faith in Him and learn what is intended for me to learn at this time.
The gospel is true! I know it with every single fiber of my being!!! It is the greatest, most reassuring, most calming feeling knowing this truth! I strongly suggest you seek out this truth if you don't know about it. You can click here to find out more!!
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