New Year, New Adventures

I haven't written on here for a long time. I was writing on here often when I was going through what now feels surreal. It feels like a movie that I just watched and it wasn't really my life. So many things that happened that simply seem like a dream (or I guess a nightmare). Fast forward ten years and I would love to say that life is now just blissful and care free, or even make it look "Instagram perfect", but I can't and I won't. My divorce has been finalized for over six years now. It has been quite the adventure, this life of mine. Over two years ago, I was told I should get on one of those dating apps. I am very old fashioned and was completely against it. Finally I succumbed and hesitantly made a profile. Now living in a smaller city, there wasn't a lot of options. I thought I wasn't going to meet anyone anyways, so I might as well put my search settings to anywhere in the country. I talked to a few people. It wasn't fun, I'm not going to lie. The small talk, people saying two things to you then never responding again, arrogant guys who only talked themselves up, feeling like it was all about the surface stuff, the stuff that I didn't care so much about. One July day, July 7, 2017 to be exact, I matched with a pretty cute guy. He lived clear in Orlando Florida, so I thought nothing would ever come of it. Just someone nice to talk to. However, it was pretty crazy that only a few days after we started talking, he was coming to Utah to see his family. They all live in Northern Utah. I decided I would drive up there and meet him in person. Why not? We had great conversations and I felt extremely comfortable talking to him. It wasn't all about the surface stuff either. There was more depth to him than any of the other guys I had talked to up to that point. I drove up, we spent the day together, it was easy and comfortable. He began coming to Utah every 3-4 weeks to see me. He travels for his career and so it was feasible for him to do so. I was scared. I had walls up. I had armor on. I wanted to be with him and have a life with someone, but was it worth risking heartache? Not to me at that point. I didn't trust at all. I didn't feel that it would work anyway. I had it made up in my mind he would just up and leave anyway, just because of past experiences. I hadn't properly worked through my trauma. I had SO much work to do. He came from a broken place with a lot of trauma as well. It has been a VERY long, long road. We have had so many issues, growth, trials, laughs, triggers, good times, and learning. It isn't easy, and it won't be easy, but doing the hard work to get where we can get will be worth it! We have learned so much, and have so much more to learn and experience. I know this isn't the regular sounding engagement announcement that sounds like a fairytale, but it is real and it is my story. I am grateful for what I have learned and that I have Ryan Woolley to continue this adventure with as we continue learning and growing together!